Parenting through the spiritual lens

Being a parent is by no means a piece of cake. The responsibility and stress can be overwhelming to deal with, often making parents, both young and old, forget who they are outside of that responsibility. Spiritual coach, and founder of SoulSchool, ModMonk Anshul discusses how you can unravel parenting stress spiritually…

In the times of COVID-19, where stress, anxiety and panic seem to be haunting every household, there are happy moments of love, joy and becoming new parents flowering the souls of many. 

Parenting is the most beautiful experience one can have, for those who are spiritually strong and are ready to deal with the challenging aspects that come along with strength and divine support. 

When one becomes a parent, another soul’s basic responsibility lies in your hand. Every spirit has its own learning curve too, and where many issues arise as parents, is when we want to control the life of the child and their future. 

Pressure comes at you from all angles when you are struggling to raise a child; some of it is external peer pressure, finances, competition, the societal standards, and some pressures are personal like past experiences, biases, their upbringing and the desire to fulfil their life goals through their children. Some stresses originate from children – every child has a set of lessons they need to learn creating a road block and stress for their parents, as understanding this is difficult unless you have a holistic and spiritual view towards life and parenting. 

Stress that arises from fear needs to be addressed immediately. It is important to understand as children are born, so are you as a parent. You were not a parent until you had a child, so you grow together with the child on the same learning curve. Some amount of concern is unavoidable but when not kept in check it may make them irritable, frustrated, tired, drained, helpless, bossy, less sensitive to emotions and anxious.

A child’s development is the most important aspect and a parent needs to pay full attention to it, but more often than not the parents get too involved in the child’s growth. There is a difference between what is and what should be and what you would want, creating multiple ripples of anxiety and of course stress as you move forward.

There are ways they can begin to detangle their stress:

1. Relaxing techniques – regular practice of relaxing your mind and body
2. Integrating spiritual parenting 
3. Learning to be in the moment
4. Looking at life together (parent and children) as a holistic plan for learning. 
5. Finding an anchor during your difficult times.
6. Learning to deal and heal your own past and current areas of concern.
7. Build a bond with your child (even an infant, if he or she is crying a lot) 
8. Do not over react, understand – become self-aware of the words that come out of your mouth. 

Are only parents affected with stress?

The answer is clear NO. Your stress and behaviour also affects children and their behaviour now and in the long term.

If you have been always showcasing worry, anxiety and stress over a period of time children will/ might showcase the below behaviours or attributes:

1. Short temperedness
2. Irritable 
3. Fear based behavior and outlook 
4. Insecurity and sense of self-blame
5. Relationship strains